With Cinco De Mayo a day away, who isn’t planning for what they’ll eat after a few shots of tequila? Amiright? While this is guac is super duper easy, I recommend not making it post tequila consumption. Ya know, I don’t want to be held liable for anyone who cuts a finger off while dicing a red bell pepper.

I prefer my guac chunky, so I didn’t bother using a blender. If you like yours smooth, by all means go for it. And make sure your avocados are ripe enough before you make it… none of the avocados at the grocery store seemed ripe enough, so I left mine in a brown paper bag for 2 days with an apple inside. The apple releases ethylene gas, which speeds up the ripening process for the avocados. Expert tip right there. Also, if you leave the pit of the avocado in the guac and add lemon to it, it helps the guac to retain its pretty green color.

I was going to add tomato to this too, but someone in my house used the tomato I bought (notpointingfingersbutitwasmymom). The guac ended up tasting great without it, so my recipe doesn’t include it, whereas many others do.

I wish I took more photos! I used this guacamole in my lunches — I put it on grilled chicken sandwiches and in salads and boy, it was so much tastier than the store-bought stuff. And for the amount you get from this recipe, it’s definitely cheaper.

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I am a Nutella enthusiast, in case you didn’t know that about me already. I add it to anything I can get my hands on. I am apathetic about a lot of things in this world, but Nutella is not one of them.

If I were president, I’d make Nutella Day a national holiday that warranted closures for schools, companies, government offices, hell, even the stock market. It would be on June 5, my birthday, and all good American citizens would spend the day with loved ones, enjoying Nutella appetizers, entrees and desserts. Nutella Day would become more important than Thanksgiving, and it would certainly give Christmas a run for its money. Who’s with me on this?

Enough of my rambling. Nutella and bananas are a match made in heaven, which is why these beautiful little muffins will rock your world.

Continue reading for the muffin recipe and the almond steamer

It’s been awhile! Committing to writing regularly can be tough, but I’m ready to start this up again.

I’ve been trying a lot of different recipes lately, but I’ve made these at least three times in the last month and they’re always such a hit. The pink drizzle makes them so pretty, and the almond Hershey kisses compliment the raspberry nicely. And boy, are they easy.

I can tell you what’s not easy… henna-ing a sun and a moon on your wrists after you’ve (very responsibly) had 2 or 3 club sodas with vodka. I learned that the hard way this weekend. My moon came out a shriveled up banana. The sun is a circle with spokes coming out of it. As you would imagine, both hennas look they were illustrated by a blind person, who I allowed run wild after they had a very bad day. In reality, the blind illustrator is two friends from school. I have two blind illustrator friends.

Each celestial body encompasses roughly three inches each of real estate on my wrists. Yeah, I know…

Thanks to my artistic vision, I’ll be wearing sweaters to work for at least a week. It’s late April. Yeah, I know…

It’s really hard when you make poor decisions as an adult. Friends who will graduate in May, you will realize this all too soon. And then once you’re in my position, you’ll wish you had remembered what happened the time Megan thought it would be cool to have parts of the solar system on her wrists.

Thank me now, thank me later for sharing this story and saving you the embarrassment.
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Tomorrow is President’s Day, and if you’re a teacher in the area, you might have not one, but three days off this week. My best friend, Lauren, a teacher-in-training, won’t go back to student teaching until Thursday. This makes me regret studying journalism immensely.

Nonetheless, Lauren whipped up a batch of these heavenly baked apple cinnamon doughnuts that she can enjoy 3/5 of the work week that she doesn’t have to wear dress pants like the rest of us. Speaking of which, dress pants aren’t remotely flattering for 99% of the population.

Since we aren’t the 1%, I proclaim an “Occupy Baked Apple Cinnamon Doughnuts.”

Needless to say, I made Lauren send me photos and the recipe immediately, as they are amazing and insanely easy. Not to mention budget-friendly. So thank you Lauren. Without further ado…

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Today was a hectic day at work. As Martha Stewart, Paula Dean and Kitty from That 70’s Show know (I mean, I guess they know), the best way to end a rough day is to bake cookies and drink wine. I have my glass of Seven Deadly Zins, one of my favorite cheap bottles, and I’ve just pulled these cookies out of the oven.

Amazing, right? I know. The cookies are a perfect ending to a long day, and they’re also perfect to give to your pain in the ass significant other for Valentine’s Day. Speaking of which, complaining about Valentine’s Day is overdone. Secretly, everyone cares about Valentine’s Day, and everyone wants a Valentine. I openly admit that the best years of my life were in first and second grade, when my classmates and I decorated paper bags to put on the edge of our desks, and everyone in class got each other little Valentine’s Day cut-out cards. The cards varied from Disney characters to generic teddy bears with sayings like “You’re a bear-y special Valentine.” But screw that cheap teddy bear crap. The most coveted cards were the Scooby Doo ones. If Shaggy was on there, damn, your soul mate was probably sitting a few seats away from you. The most chivalrous men gave those out. If they gave you a Scooby, you didn’t need to use a fake AIM screen name to ask your 2nd grade love interest if they liked you, and then black mail them if they didn’t tell you. The Scooby card was confirmation enough.

If I were in charge at work, I’d make everyone on my floor give each other those little cut outs. And I’d demand my staff gave me all the Scoobies.

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This will be a quick one. I have to go to sleep soon, since as of tomorrow I will be a real person with responsibilities and taxes to pay. Thumbs up to being a big girl. Thumbs down to wearing dress pants daily.

This smoothie will knock your socks off. These proportions are based on my personal preference – lots of strawberry and orange, but you can taste it as you blend and adjust to your liking.

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Hot Cocoa Cookies

Yesterday was the first snowfall of 2012. In the spirit of the world not ending this year, I made these awesome hot cocoa cookies. They’re as delicious as they look.

In other news, I got a big girl job! Having 15 panic attacks daily since September has finally paid off. I start next Tuesday, so I have a little time to relax, and by relax I mean write breaking police stories about burglaries in my town during my last week at Patch. So writing this blog post is a breath of fresh air, considering I don’t have to use the word “allegedly” at the end of every sentence.

I can update this blog from my brand spankin’ new IPhone 4S now if I want. I was sad to part with my charming, vintage enV2, but it was embarrassing. Embarrassing like when your 12-year-old self is in Abercrombie with mom buying the signature Amber track pants you saw online and mom yells at the 16-year-old cashier, who has enviable side bangs and immaculate eye liner, for giving her attitude, thereby ruining your life forever. “Who do you think you are, speaking to me that way? Where is your manager?” your mom yells over “Taste of Ink” by the Used, which is blaring. Mom, stop, she didn’t do anything. Just shut up. Everyone in the store, including the hot surfer-wannabe kid with Justin Bieber hair (way ahead of his time), is staring. You can never go back in there ever again. You don’t even want the signature Amber track pants anymore. You’d rather choose death than enter another store with mom.

Having an enV2 is kind of like walking out of the Abercrombie store, disgraced, without the signature Amber track pants and hoping someone knifes you as you near a Verizon kiosk.

What? You mean you don’t know what I’m talking about? Well it’s a sensitive subject.

Having an enV2 is equivalent to having a beeper as far as I’m concerned, and I tried to dignify it by calling it “charming” and “vintage.”

But now, I won’t have that problem, so cheers. *insert thumbs up emoji*

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